Friday, October 15, 2010

You shnews you lews, you jews with bews that have flews

Bias
Just yesterday, a student at school was permenently injured due to a shove from another student.  Sources say that "The altercation was obviously meant to bring physical harm to the student.  Apparently, the one who caused the accident, student X we will call him, attempted to break both arms of the other student, student Y."  The accident proved quite disastrous - breaking the right shoulder of student Y cleanly and fracturing 3 ribs.  Upon questioning of student X, he reported that he "in no way intended such damage", but an eye-witness - the students brother - recalls the event with a contrasting account, saying "the shove was obviously intentional, it's a wonder that the student is still living at all."


Unbias
An accident occured at the school just yesterday involving two students.  One student accidentally shoved the other into a pillar in the multipurpose room which knocked his breath out and hurt his shoulder.  After a trip to the x-ray to see the extent of the damage, the doctors verifyed that the student had a small fracture in his shoulder, and perhaps cracked his rib - but was in no life-threatening danger.  Eyewitnesses say that the event was an "obvious accident", and the student will "be up in no time".

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