Eye wood lather...

I would rather
 survive a nuclear war only to become the podiatrist to a race of mutants, or
 smell the cheese?
I would rather
 be mechanically induced to scream at the top of your lungs for an hour, or
 have your eyes glued shut for a day?
I would rather
 be forced to preface everything you say with the phrase "Tuck it in" under threat of being slapped, or
 have a magnetic head?
I would rather
 be born with a refrigerator on your back, or
 have an elephant as a close, personal friend?
Would you rather
 have 15 nails hammered into your tongue, or
 have your saliva permanently transmuted to urine?
I would rather
 have needles for leg hair, or
 have flares shoot out of your nose every time you say the word "the" (ouch).
I would rather
 have eyes that always smile, or
 or a voice that makes people calm?
I would rather
 be able to fly, or
 have the ability to read people's minds?
I would rather
 lose your keys three days in a row, or
 have your dog eat your birthday cake?
I would rather
 have the power of invisibility, or
 be able to produce sparks from your fingertips?
I would rather
 be able to fortell the future, or
 have all the money you will every need?
I would rather
 be able to stop time while you slept, or
 never need to do laundry?
I would rather
 be able to bring about a lasting world peace, or
 eliminate all hunger and disease?